How To Be Accepted

How To Be Accepted: Laughter as a Social Glue

How To Be Accepted - We've all been there – feeling out of place, isolated from a group, or aching for acknowledgment. The heart of human nature desires acceptance, the validation that we belong and are recognized by others.

It’s a grim experience not to be part of a community or not to receive the nod of acknowledgment from our peers. The larger problem? Our lack of charisma or the exact social prowess needed to captivate those around us.

how to be accepted

how to be accepted

Drilling down to the root, many of us often lack the enchanting allure or the right social skills to woo our audience. But what if there were a simpler solution, something so intrinsic to our nature that it could be the key to bridging gaps? Enter laughter.

The article rightly explains how laughter is more than just an emotional outburst; it's a social behavior. This spontaneous reaction acts like a glue, binding societies and validating our presence within them.

When we laugh, our brains release endorphins and oxytocin, chemicals that foster pleasure and deepen social bonds. Additionally, laughter triggers mirror neurons, making individuals inclined to laugh in sync, further reinforcing a sense of camaraderie and shared experience.

Several studies emphasize that the probability of laughing elevates by 30 times in company compared to solitude, proving its contagious charm.

From an evolutionary standpoint, group laughter signaled safety and unity, solidifying group cohesion. This collective behavior, combined with laughter's ability to reduce stress and enhance brain connectivity related to empathy, ensures that laughter remains an invaluable tool in fortifying social ties.

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."

Victor Borge

Before you chuckle your way into hearts, let’s understand the nuances. Primarily, there are two types of laughter.

First, the involuntary kind – the kind where you laugh so hard that your sides ache, distinguished by its prolonged duration and varying pitch.

The second, social laughter, is subtle and offered as a nod to acknowledge a comment or an incident. It’s milder, less hearty, and the change in pitch isn’t as profound.

Eager to leverage laughter as your social secret weapon? Here are 5 easy steps:

how to be accepted

how to be accepted

  1. 1. Be Genuine

    1. Explanation:

      Authenticity is key when it comes to laughter. People can easily distinguish between genuine laughter and a forced one. A sincere laugh not only feels better but also helps in creating a genuine connection with others.


      Imagine two scenarios. In one, a friend tells a joke and you offer a fake, polite giggle. In the second, you truly find it funny and laugh wholeheartedly. The second situation will likely result in a warmer, more connected feeling between you and your friend.

  1. 2. Share Light Moments

    1. Explanation:

      Sharing amusing stories or experiences can be a great way to bond with others. It helps in breaking the ice, setting a light mood, and making conversations memorable.


      At a team meeting, you recall a hilarious mishap from your weekend trip where you mistakenly wore mismatched shoes. Sharing this light-hearted story can break the tension and bring a smile to everyone's face.

  1. 3. Laugh at Yourself

    1. Explanation:

      Embracing your imperfections and being able to laugh at your own mistakes portrays humility. This trait can make you approachable and relatable.


      You’re giving a presentation and mistakenly refer to a product by the wrong name. Instead of getting flustered, you laugh it off saying, "Well, that's a new version I just invented!" This can defuse tension and endear you to your audience.

"Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself."

Alan Alda

  1. 4. Engage in Group Activities

    1. Explanation:

      Participating in group activities, especially ones that are centered around humor, can foster shared laughter. Laughing together can build stronger bonds and create cherished memories.


      Organizing a movie night with friends and watching a comedy classic. As everyone laughs at the same jokes and scenes, it amplifies the feeling of togetherness.

  1. 5. Practice Active Listening

    1. Explanation:

      Actively listening to someone doesn't just involve hearing the words they say but also responding appropriately. When you chuckle or laugh in response to something amusing they've said, it signals that you're genuinely engaged in the conversation.


      During a chat, your friend mentions a silly thing their pet did. Instead of simply nodding, you chuckle and say, "That sounds just like something Fluffy would do!" This shows you’re truly listening and valuing their story.

Which Laugh is Real?

how to be accepted

how to be accepted

Now, another vital social skill is empathy, particularly understanding people’s emotional undercurrents. One of its aspects is discerning genuine laughter from the social kind.

Fascinatingly, this skill isn’t innate to our childhood but is honed in early adulthood, peaking around our late 30s or 40s. This laughter literacy is so profound that it's correlated with marital happiness. A couple that laughs together, expressing and relieving everyday stresses, is more likely to stay together.

It's evolution's gift to us, ensuring the formation and sustenance of social groups, offering an emotional outlet otherwise hard to articulate.

Facts To Fickle Your Brain

how to be accepted

how to be accepted

While we're on the subject of laughter and its marvels, let's tackle another intriguing facet: its ability to enhance productivity, especially in monotonous tasks.

In a fascinating twist, researchers discovered that those who watched humorous content, say cat videos, persisted longer on tedious tasks compared to those who viewed calming or energizing videos.

Thus, it wouldn’t be far-fetched to say that cat videos, in all their humorous glory, might just be the productivity tool of the future.


In conclusion, the magic of laughter is boundless. It not only cements our place in social hierarchies but also offers multiple benefits ranging from emotional expression to amplified productivity.

So, the next time you find yourself in an awkward social setting or dreading a repetitive task, remember to harness the mighty power of laughter. It’s nature’s way of telling us that everything’s better with a chuckle or two.


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Cipto Ardiantoro

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